As Phillip sits at his desk typing this for me I am currently preparing for my exchange visit to Korea. Yonsei University to be specific, where I will be studying shit you can’t even pronounce, let alone understand. Not that you are stupid, well, maybe you are, but that’s not my point, my point is that I am super awesome, which means my opinion always trumps yours.
Last week I spoke about 1984 and blabbered on about this and that without really worrying what you thought, which follows nicely onto this week’s two literature references, the first being Animal Farm by my bestest buddy Georgy Orwell.
Now, I could go into depth about the meaning behind the comparison of the farm and the gaming community, but let’s be honest, you probably wouldn’t understand it. Even Phillip (who is diligently recording my every word as I speak, through the wonders of modern technology) wouldn’t understand it and he is the smartest 40-something, Englishman living in Spain that I know!
The point here, is that some gamers’ opinions are more important than others. But importance is a deceptive word because it derives not from content or intelligent insight, but from loudness and distribution. My opinion is more important than yours because I write it and you actually read it, whereas I don’t read (or care) about yours. Please don’t take it personally, it’s not YOU per se, just you as in the community. If you don’t voice your opinion then it can’t be important. Quod erat demonstrandum.
The problem with the gaming community is that it is always complaining. The community needs to go back to basics and learn history, which for those too drunk to remember goes like this… “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”. So it’s time to talk about the second literature reference, and that’s one from MY glorious past and People: Aesop.
Aesop was a cool MoFu, who lived about 2,500 years ago. I bet you are thinking that as a gamer you can’t learn anything from some dead Greek slave, but you would be wrong, very wrong. Before you go running around your neighborhood with bed sheets wrapped around your privates, shouting “THIS IS SPARTA!” (with a slight Scottish accent), you need to know that Aesop was a little more subtle than that.
He wrote “fables” that hinted at morals and ways to live your life.
Before Phillip falls asleep, let’s get down to some specifics:
The Ant and the Grasshopper: This fable describes a grasshopper that spent the summer on “Insects Got Talent” singing, while the ant spent his time collecting food. When the winter comes the grasshopper begs the ant for some food and is told to fuck off! The gaming community has both ants and grasshoppers. The ants are the hard workers. Spending their time creating stuff, not just singing about one MP5 model they have made (or stolen and then modified somehow). In fact, too much of the community are grasshoppers. It does make me wonder how different things would be if ModDB wasn’t there to pander to every minute update or trailer release, which delays the final release date.
Moral lesson: Less singing and more work please.
One more before your bedtime…
The Boy Who Cried Wolf: This fable tells the story of a boy sent to look after the sheep and told to shout “WOLF! if he saw a wolf. Unfortunately the boy was a dick and shouted it a few times to have fun with the villagers. Eventually, they stopped coming and when a wolf did come he probably got ass-raped and eaten.
What has this got to do with gaming? DUH! Isn’t it obvious? Okay, here are two clues…
“This mod will change you way you think of RPG/FPS games!” or another “Our mod will include never before seen features that will blow your mind”.
I’ve read that shit so many times, I ignore it at best or completely disregard the mod at worst. If your mod is that good, you don’t need to shout about how good it is, the quality will shine through.
Moral Lesson: Talk is cheap and stop promising shit you can’t deliver.
Well, there you have it. I highly recommend reading Aesop’s work because we could probably find a lesson for gaming in nearly all his fables.
I’d like to finish by thanking Phillip for writing this amazing editorial and promise to be back next time, unless I can convince some other sucker to write it for me.