Why did I get into gaming? Because video games were, and are, easier than talking to girls.
I don’t count the first years when thinking of my past in gaming. I had a NES since I was three, it was like a member of the family to me. My parents were constantly working, and the negative affect this had on my relationship with them was only exacerbated by my resentments towards my father. So, my NES, Genesis, and N64 were my best friends, not games.
Pandora’s box had been opened when I learned of this brave new world of PC Gaming. Modifying and discussing games on the Internet had brought a whole new level of experience – all while sharing and participating with a community of like-minded fans.
My first online game? Motocross Madness. That’s right. I’ve never ridden a motocross bike. I’ve haven’t even seen one in real life– but on the MSN Gaming zone, me and my joystick were a legend. I even had a friend who would play online with me – Tyler and I even had a clan, called ABA. American Bad-Asses. Jealous yet?
From there, Starcraft for a little while, then eventually to my undoing, Counter-Strike. Since that fateful day in 2001, I’ve yet to be on time to a doctor’s appointment or job interview. The longest I’ve held employment was barely eleven months. Relationships consistently come and go, and current friends silently resent my half-interested reciprocations to their conversations. My GPA has never crept above a C+.
It’s fitting that it would be one decade later that I write this to you, as the poor college student who fails at every opportunity to find employment or an internship.
I’ve not since enjoyed a game as much as I did CS, and probably never will. The trifecta of youth, fledgling state of the Internet, and amazing-ness that was version 1.3 all formed one perfect storm of video-gaming that had me locked into my room for years. My interest in Counter-Strike lulled in about 2003, though my unwavering ability to find distractions to real life had not.
2004 was an odd year for me. Jumping between MMORPGs and LAN parties, I finally settled in 2005 with World of Warcraft, which held a strong grip on my personal life until 2007.
It was then, that the part of me that enjoyed gaming died. In 2007, at a crisp twenty years old, half of me had gone away, and what was left was the sad, nostalgic husk of a boy-man desperately clinging onto some sliver of entertainment. I would eventually realize my true calling was hating video games, and not playing them – realization of which came to fruition in 2008 when I began commentating on Podcast 17 with William and Phillip.
Since then, I’ve pointlessly wandered the institutions that make up the real world, looking for a paycheck or some underlying sense of purpose, or meaning. Where that leads me, I’m not sure. Wherever it is, it won’t have taking responsibility for my actions.
Or taking things seriously.